It’s 2025… and people are still shocked they’re getting hangovers. Bro—hangovers aren’t a glitch in the system. They are the system working exactly as it should. You’re not supposed to consume a literal poison that kills 3.5 million people a year and wake up refreshed. That pounding head, that nausea, that brain fog, that ache behind your eyes—that’s not “bad luck.” That’s your body screaming, “Stop trying to kill me.” As someone who’s survived liver failure—bright yellow, organs shutting down,