Couples who are 'emotionally secure' regularly talk about 8 things, says Harvard-trained psychologist
3:33
Couples who are 'emotionally secure' regularly talk about 8 things, says Harvard-trained psychologist
1 month ago
CNBCDr. Cortney Warren, Contributor
Developing secure attachment often means outgrowing relationships built on insecure dynamics. When you stop overextending, people accustomed to your self-abandonment may resist the change. This is uncomfortable but necessary. Research on relationship patterns shows that as one person becomes more secure, relationships either evolve to accommodate the new dynamic or naturally end. The relationships worth keeping will adapt. The ones that can't were likely reinforcing unhealthy patterns anyway. ⁣
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Developing secure attachment often means outgrowing relationships built on insecure dynamics. When you stop overextending, people accustomed to your self-abandonment may resist the change. This is uncomfortable but necessary. Research on relationship patterns shows that as one person becomes more secure, relationships either evolve to accommodate the new dynamic or naturally end. The relationships worth keeping will adapt. The ones that can't were likely reinforcing unhealthy patterns anyway. ⁣
1.6K views4 months ago
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For the vast majority of couples, achieving secure attachment is as easy as learning healthier, attachment friendly communication skills. You can find these skills all over my account (start with the"negative cycle" highlight on Instagram) and of course my book Secure Love is meant to help all couples escape the negative communication cycles that fuel insecure attachment and achieve/strengthen a securely attached bond by walking them through the self-help version of the work I do with couples in
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Working towards a more secure attachment style is the key to building a long-lasting, healthy relationship. We created "Secure Love in 4 Steps" to help couples identify insecure patterns and take actionable steps toward a secure connection. Comment SECURE to get the link to our free guide! | LoveSecurely
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Emotionally/safe environments fostertemotional growth. Emotional growth fosters relationship growth. Like everything else it takes consistency (not perfection) and time. You can start with the next interaction. Lots of skills and ideas on my account to help you know what to do. ❤️ | The Secure Relationship
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Two things are true: it takes two to live out a thriving relationship AND just one partner can initially get the ball rolling. Emotional safety brings out the best in partners, including more willingness to self-reflect on one’s own part. So while you can’t change your partner, you can do your part to change the relationship environment that is holding you both back. Grow for your relationship with yourself; grow for the relationship environment. And when partners can join each other in this spa
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We all have the same basic relationship needs, and communication is the delivery system for those needs to be met. That’s why conflict feels so hard. Hard topics are full of emotion. And what changes everything is when couples move from accusations that push each other away… “You spend too much money.” …to vulnerable communication that invites closeness: “I feel unsafe when we don’t feel financially secure. I worry something bad will happen. I worry I’ll fail. I need help with those fears. You’r
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LoveSecurely | Couple Wellness & Security on Instagram: "These aren’t just “nice-to-have” rules. They’re the foundation for emotional safety, trust, and long-term connection. ✅ Honesty should be met with care, not punishment ✅ Conflict should lead to repair, not silence ✅ Communication should create closeness, not distance Want a secure relationship? These rules aren’t optional. They’re how you protect what matters most."
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